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Wednesday, August 25, 2010

The Blog Of Lassie

6/11/58
3:02 AM

Timmy got lost in the woods again today. Of course I found him. I had to chase off a rabid raccoon that had Timmy cornered against a tree.

Did anyone give a shit what Lassie had to go through? NOOOOOOOO. It's all "Oh thank God you are OK Timmy!"

Except he isn't He got bitten by that raccoon. The doc says he will have to have a series of shots.

I'll probably get blamed for not finding him soon enough. Bastards.

6/15/58
1:14 AM

Timmy gave me a bath today. He kept saying "Good girl, good girl" all the while he was washing my wiener. What the fuck is his mother teaching him?

This kid is a little slow.

6/21/58
3:32 AM

Timmy forgot his "lucky" pencil today. I had to run my ass all the way to school to deliver it to him.

I hope the dumb shit fails his test anyway.

7/14/58
4:02 AM

The people on the next farm just got a new dog. A poodle. She is young, but I got dibs.

She is gonna be something fine in the next year or so. Rawr!

7/17/58
3:12 AM

Well, that was shortlived. The poodle got run over by a tractor. Back to frotting myself with Timmy's arm when he sleeps.

8/11/58
10:16 AM

Timmy fell in a well again.

Fuck him. I'm going back to sleep.

11/22/58
10:53 AM

Thanksgiving!

This is the only day of the year when I get to eat some decent food and not just the farm slop these bastards normally give me.

Daddy like turkey. Nom nom nom.

12/21/58
1:02 PM

Grandpa had chest pains today. I had to run to the doc's through two feet of snow. I don't know why they didn't just use that telephone thingy.

I didn't mind so much. Grandpa is the only one that doesn't treat me like I'm retarded. Shit. Timmy is the dumb one. How many times does a kid have to fall into a well before he stops fucking around near those things?



Me and dipshit.
Look out for that well! LOL!

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