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Monday, August 10, 2009

What Your Car Says About You

In the past we have profiled both beer and booze, and even explained what your drink says about you. All of these things send signals to the world about what kind of a person you are.

Like the Shirt Tales. Or something.

When you aren't drinking, you are probably driving (and you shouldn't be doing both. That's bad.) and when you are driving...you are probably in a vehicle.

Now BDF would like to take a moment to tell you what your car says about you.


DeLorean DMC-12 - I love the 80's. I mean I really love the 80's. Like a fat guy loves food. Which I am and I do.





Toyota Prius - I love the environment. I care about trees, puppies, rainbows and the ozone layer. I have a poster of Ed Begley Jr. in my bedroom. I also don't care about the metric fuckton of awful I have unleashed upon the environment by having this shipped across an ocean.

Yugo GV - Literally nothing has gone my way since 1987. I've stopped fucking caring.

Aston Martin - I like to think that I am like James Bond. The truth is...I'm not even as cool as Gold Bond.





Volkswagen Rabbit - I am a tree hugging free spirit of the 1960's and 70's...even though I was born in 1987.

Nissan Xterra - I'd love to have a big manly SUV...but I am worried about rising gas prices. Also...the big SUVs scare me. I'll go with the Nissan. Hey...at least it isn't a soccer mom van.

Scion xB - I'm big pimpin' in my cutting edge ride. Well...small pimpin'. It really isn't very big. But it has lots of neat features which pander speak to my age demographic.

Nissan Cube - I want to be even more cutting edge that those Scion guys. Also...the Scion dealership was out of xBs so I settled for this.

Hummer H3 - I have every Arnold Schwarzenegger movie on DVD. I wear my satin Planet Hollywood jacket everywhere. I have a gym membership. I would overcompensate more...but I'm on a budget.

Chevrolet Avalanche - I want a truck. No...maybe an SUV. No. A truck. Well...maybe an SUV. Hey! That looks like a shitty Gobot. I'll take it!



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