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Friday, January 2, 2009

Monkey: The Most Awesome Primate?

Many moons ago, man walked out of the jungle leaving his cousin, the monkey, behind. Millennia later, BDF returns to our long tailed furry friends to reach out and shake the hand, a hand so like our own (what with that whole opposable thumb thing) and say "We respect you."

Yes, monkeys are best known for eating bananas and flinging poo, but they are capable of so much more.

There have been numerous stories of monkeys pulling children from fires, solving complex calculus problems, landing on (and blowing up) asteroids racing toward Earth. They are also generally acknowledged as the world champions of thumb wrestling.

Some even postulate that in 1942 Hitler sent a troupe of monkeys to the moon to start a Nazi moon base. And they remain there today. That's probably bullshit but I'll tell you...I can't gaze at the moon without picturing a bunch of tiny monkeys throwing moon poo at each other.

Behind every great man, has stood a monkey. Pierre, the so called "pet" of Charlamagne, is known to have finger painted "Chuck, take over the world. I believe in you." Inspiring, isn't it?

Citizen Kane was actually based on the life of Harvey Stapleton, an early 20th century Norwegian publisher and his monkey, Rosie. The whole sled thing was just a fucked up metaphor.

While many are aware of the theory that William Shakespeare didn't author the famous works that are credited to him. Some postulate Francis Bacon, Christopher Marlowe, William Stanley (6th Earl of Derby) or even Edward de Vere (17th Earl of Oxford). Did you know that yet another theory is that they were written by two monkeys, Chim-Chim and Cap'n Geech? Much akin to the later infinite monkey theorem which states that a monkey hitting keys at random on a typewriter keyboard for an infinite amount of time will almost surely eventually write Shakespeare...these two actually may have done it. And it didn't take infinite time. A mere three weeks and four hundred bananas. True story. Maybe.

How about the phrase "more fun than a barrel of monkeys"? Seriously. I can't think of too many things that would be more fun than a barrel of monkeys. I mean, depending on the size of the barrel...that could potentially be a lot of monkeys. More monkeys = more fun.

We can't forget the impact of sock monkeys on art. Granted, sock monkeys aren't real monkeys...but they are both cute and monkey-like. So...close enough.

Imagine, if you will, a world with more monkeys. What could we not accomplish with such a strong partnership? We think it would be an incredible world to live in. Don't you?

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