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Thursday, January 15, 2009

15 Signs That You Are A Drunkard

1. When the bartender buys you a shot he says "Last night was hilarious"...and you pretend to know what the hell he is talking about.

2. You piss in the sink...even though the bathroom is otherwise unoccupied.

3. You have often woken up curled up on the floor next to the refrigerator.

4. People call you "that one funny drunk guy".

5. Co-workers have remarked "Oddly enough, you are funnier when you are sober. If I remember correctly."

6. When you are absent from the bar for a few days, the bar staff sends you "get well soon" flowers.

7. Occasionally, when you piss yourself...you don't care.

8. When you are playing Golden Tee with your friends, you keep asking them why "Pac-Man looks so fucking different".

9. You owe more on your bar tab than you do on your mortgage.

10. People often mistake you for someone that is mentally handicapped.

11. The last clear and unadulterated memory you have was watching The Goonies. In the theater. In 1985.

12. Your mother has the bar on speed dial.

13. People laugh at you, not so much with you.

14. You refer to a hangover as "that thing that happens every morning".

15. You are amazed to find a startling lack of applause when you finish your song. Of course, it isn't a karaoke bar...but you stopped caring three drinks ago.

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