What Your Booze Says About You

In the past we have profiled both beer and booze, but now BDF would like to take a moment to tell you what your drink says about you.

Like if you were one of the Shirt Tales, but with booze.

Cristal: I have too much damn money.

Jägermeister: I am a frat boy.

Tequila: I'm not fucking around. I'm probably going to pick a fight tonight.

Miller Chill: Until the "Defense of Marriage Act" is repealed, I am going to keep pretending I am heterosexual.

Cosmopolitan: I own the entire series of Sex and the City on DVD.

Piña colada: I am on vacation.

Lemon drop: I am a girl.

Kamikazi: The name makes it sound like I am wild and ready to party. The contents make it clear I am actually a pussy.

Budweiser: I'm just a regular joe.

Bud Light: I'm just a regular joe....that is bi-curious.

Margarita: I'm just bi-curious.

Screwdriver: Sure, I'm an alcoholic...but I am also fighting scurvy.

Martini: I don't know shit about booze, but I have seen Swingers so I think this makes me look cool.

Molotov Cocktail: I am a revolutionary.

Long Island Iced Tea: I can't decide what to drink...so I will take them all.

Vodka: I'm pretty amazing.

Boone's Farm: I live in a van down by the river.

Old Grand-Dad: Life is not going my way.

White Zinfandel: I'm a soccer mom.

Appletini: Um...nobody really orders these, do they?

Bacardi: Still waiting to get my groove back.

Courvoisier: I have made love to many fine ladies from the lowliest bus station skank to the classiest most sophisticated, educated, debutant, high society... bus station skank.