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Thursday, December 4, 2008

Fug-B-Gone

Scientists at the Big Damn Lab are proud to announce that they have discovered a formula that actually makes everyone more attractive.

Soon to be on the market under the brand name "Fug-B-Gone", this frothy beverage will make all your fantasies come true!

While some argue that FBG is little more than 180 proof Vodka and food coloring, those people are just jealous assholes. We feel that our product will make the world a better place.

Studies have shown that even at the infant stage, humans are more receptive to people who are "attractive". We seek to bring that elusive state to everyone. Everyone who buys our product, that is.

And how, you may ask, can this be done? We'll tell you!

Say you have a meeting with the U.N. to attempt to bring peace and harmony to the world. Simply make sure some to pack some Fug-B-Gone in the ole lunch pail. Once all the International representatives have pounded a few shots of FGB, everyone will look and feel a whole lot sexier. The more "attractive" everyone is, the more they will want to get along. And possibly have sex with each other. Soon, you personally will have brought world peace. And an orgy. Well done, you!

On a more day-to-day basis, Fug-B-Gone will help people "just get along". Do you have a blind date coming up that you are nervous about? Chug some FBG with your date and you'll go from saying "How much do I have to pay to cross your bridge?" to saying "Where have you been all my life?"

Fug-B-Gone: making the world a better place, one face at a time.

Warning: Fug-B-Gone is not approved by any "doctors" or government bureaus. FBG has been known to cause intensive and violent vomiting, headaches, slowed reflexes, and erectile dysfunction.

Try it soon - Fug-B-Gone!

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