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Friday, December 5, 2008

Big Damn Holiday!

"An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools" - Ernest Hemingway

Due to the work of a bunch of stuffy assholes, the Eighteenth Amendment establishing prohibition of alcohol in the United States passed on January 29, 1919.

For the next 14 years, life sucked.

A lot.

But then...Congress decided to stop being fucking dicks. The 21st Amendment was fully ratified on December 5, 1933

Stephen Wright once observed: "24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?"

In memory of that glorious day of freedom and debauchery, we here at BDF would like to call for a Big Damn Holiday. Every December 5th, we should all get drunk.

"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy" - Benjamin Franklin

"What makes that different than every other day?" you might ask. Well, because the repeal of prohibition gives us a valid reason to get drunk.

Claiming "It's a celebration!" always gives you a socially acceptable reason/excuse to get drunk.

Less socially acceptable reasons/excuses include:

"I'm keeping the voices at bay."

"I ran out of water"

"I thought this was a wake"

and the ever popular, "Fuck you, that's why"

"I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly" - Winston Churchill, in reply to a woman who accused him of being drunk

We haven't quite settled on a name for the holiday as Big Damn Repeal of Prohibition Day seems a little long winded and unwieldy. Maybe instead of "day" it should be an "event".

Repeal of Prohibition Event can easily be abrreviated to R.O.P.E.. Hell, yeah. Big Damn ROPE Day!

"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day" - Frank Sinatra

So this afternoon, evening, or night (or all three) lift a glass to your loved ones and have a drunk. Or five.

It's your constitutional right. Use 'em or lose 'em baby.

Be a patriot. Get drunk.

"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!" - Bruce Aidells

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