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Saturday, July 15, 2006

15 Things You Rarely Hear On A Date

1. Baby, I just want to blow you. We don't even have to cuddle.

2. Hey hottie! Who's your fat friend?

3. Stop calling. You are fat and uninteresting.

4. I fucked your mom.

5. Of course you need more shoes, honey.

6. No baby, you're just big boned. Just kidding. You're fat.

7. Your sister is hot. I'm just saying. Seriously. I'd do her.

8. No baby, I love that time of the month.

9. I'm just here for food. I really couldn't care less about you.

10. No seriously. Put your bra back on. I just want to talk. Talk about what interests you.

11. Less talking. More sucking.

12. If we are going to hang out, you are going to need to get a lot more attractive.

13. Small? Nah. I think it's cute.

14. Your male pattern baldness is so sexy!

15. I'm going to be honest. I'm not listening to a word you are saying. Every time you open your mouth I just see a potential place to park my penis. Hey, alliteration! Seriously, though. I'd like a blowjob.

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