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Wednesday, June 21, 2006

The Townsend Identity

One Tuesday afternoon, a man suddenly realized that he couldn't remember who he was or how he came to be standing in a parking lot. As confusion began to envelop him, he spun around wildly looking for a familiar face.

He patted down his pants and found a bulge in the back right pocket. Opening the pocket, he gently removed the contents: a wallet. Flipping the wallet open, he noticed a clear window in the center of the wallet.

A driver’s license.

Jim Townsend. That was the name. Next to the name was a picture of a man. The man ran to the nearest car in the parking lot and looked at himself in the car window.

His face matched the face on the license.

Jim Townsend. That must be his name.

Suddenly recalling the film The Bourne Identity, he wondered if he was an assassin who was suffering from amnesia. The thought terrified him.

He ducked down and hid amongst the empty cars. Patting down the rest of himself, he found another small bulge in his coat pocket. Reaching in, he removed a handgun. Holding the weapon gently he tried to figure out how it had come to be in his coat.

His inability to answer this question only further escalated his paranoia.

Jim spent the next couple of hours playing commando and hiding from enemies he couldn't see, but somehow knew were "out there".

Occasionally, Jim would hear a sound that he couldn’t identify. Somehow this knowledge further fueled his fears that he was being watched. Or worse, tracked.

Three hours after his amnesia fear first took him, Jim found himself squatting down hiding behind a dumpster. In due course, he realized the "gun" was in fact "paraphernalia" and the reason for his "amnesia" was that "he was high".

Suddenly overcome with the munchies, he walked to the nearest Wendy's and got a Junior Bacon Cheese.

Fifteen minutes later, Jim felt much better.

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