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Sunday, April 2, 2006

Even More Little Known Quotes

Yet another Big Damn Installment of some little known quotes throughout history.

Incidentally, everything that follows is complete bullshit.

"You want me to paint the ceiling? How about a nice mural on one of those big ass walls? No? OK. You're the boss."
- Michelangelo (March 1508)

"What do you think about purple? I look good in dark colors. Hell, I could be called something cool like The Dude In Purple. How does that sound?"
- Johnny Cash (November 1954)

"So I'm writing this story, right? And the one guy in it is, like, the biggest bad ass...ever. But, and this is the cool thing, if you fuck up his ankle he dies. Isn't that awesomely ironic? This book is going to fucking rule!"
- Homer (February 847 B.C.)

"Camps? Like, we are going to feed them and give them activities and stuff? No? OK...I was confused for a moment there."
- Adolf Eichmann (Janurary 1942)

"Look. We've got guns and ponies and shit. We couldn't possibly lose. We'll be done by noon and then we will have a light lunch, OK?"
- George Armstrong Custer (June 1876)

"Hey, sometimes change is a good thing. Let's give this bad boy a whirl and see what happens."
- Coca-Cola CEO Roberto Goizueta (January 1985)

"If you seriously expect me to marry your dumb ass, you are going to have to do something really impressive. Like...I don't know...hijack a plane and steal $200,000."
- The future wife of D.B. Cooper (November 1971)

"Damn! That chick has summer teeth. Get it? Summer teeth? Fuck. I am surrounded by idiots."
- Abraham Lincoln (March 1863)

"Man...that is a mighty fine looking big wooden horse. Wheel it into the city and let's all get drunk and forget about it!"
- A really dumb Trojan (1200 B.C.)

"Fucking critics! I'm just going to paint everything in blue for the next...say...three years. That ought to show them!"
- Pablo Picasso (1901)

"Look, man...normally I try to keep my cool, but you are seriously pissing me off!"
- Mohandas K. Gandhi [to Lord Willingdon] (1931)

"Why do I always have to get the check? Man...I swear...if you guys keep treating me like this..."
- Judas Iscariot (March 28 A.D.)

"OK. Now that we have wrapped that whole thing up...who wants to play mah-jong?"
- Genghis Khan (April 1206)

"Can't it go any deeper? Why don't you...I don't know...swallow the damn thing?"
- The first guy lucky enough to get deep throated (date unknown)

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