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Wednesday, March 8, 2006

Crazy Fuckers Throughout History

There have always been strange people in the world. Sometimes these strange people decide to form groups.

Coalition For The Brotherhood Against Meteorologists

Believing weather prediction to be a form of witchcraft, this group was formed by Jean-Louis Jenkins to end the practice. Jenkins desired to wake up each day and experience the weather with no pre-existing knowledge of its conditions.

Ironically, Jenkins died during a blizzard for which he was wildly underdressed having worn bermuda shorts and a tank top that day. Had he watched the weather channel earlier, he might have known about the cold conditions. Additionally, it was mid-January and he lived in Wisconsin...so it was just an all around dumb ass move to be dressed like that anyway.

Dodecahedron Earth Society

Joe Nesbitt formed this group in the early 1980's after a marathon 78 hour game of Dungeons and Dragons.

Suddenly hitting upon the unique and irretrevably stupid belief that the Earth was, in fact, a convex polyhedron that resembled a really big 12 sided die (like is often used in role playing games).

He also began calling God "The Grand Dungeon Master".

Additionally, Joe died a virgin who never moved out of his mother's basement.

Society For The Preservation Of Aluminum Foil

This group was first founded in the early 20th century around the time of the Roswell Incident.

Henry Jenkins (no relation to Jean-Louis Jenkins) began this organization founded on the belief that used aluminum foil (in conjunction with pop rocks and cola) could be used as a condiut for commicating with the high priest Gifantor of Glaxor 5.

Somehow, membership reached almost 1000 at its high point in 1945.

The People's Front For The Liberation Of Peanut Butter From Chocolate

Vehemently opposed to Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, George Willaby formed this group in the early 1970's.

Even at it's zenith, membership never exceeded 15.

To this day, Willaby continues printing his newsletter and harassing strangers in candy shops.

Society For The Reunion Of Gary Cherone And Van Halen

This one is pretty self-explanatory and uniquely idiotic.

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