More Little Known Quotes

We here at Big Damn Funny thought we should share some more little known quotes throughout history.

Incidentally, everything that follows is complete bullshit.

"Butter face? I don't get it."
- Abraham Lincoln (February 1863)

"I think I'll go ahead and get the breast reduction. It couldn't possibly harm my career."
- Jennifer Love Hewitt (2002)

"Fuck me! It's witch-tit cold out here!"
- George Washington [whilst crossing the Delaware] (December 1776)

"Does anyone have some Frank's Red Hot? This stuff is pretty bland."
- Unknown member of the Donner Party (April 1847)

"Jesus Christ! Is that a zombie?"
- Stuart Petermore [upon seeing Joan Rivers in person] (March 2003)

"Gay? Why in the world would you think I was gay? I'm all about the goon. What? Poon? Not goon? Yeah...I knew that. 'Cause I'm all about it."
- Liberace (June 1964)

"3 million? That's some pussy Hitler shit. I've killed way more than that. Hell, I've done more in an afternoon!"
- Joseph Stalin (April 1952)

"Check it. I'm gonna make a regular dude...but, like, really tiny."
- God [spoken to Michael] upon the creation of the midget

"What more does that bitch want me to cut off?"
- Vincent Van Gogh (December 1888)

"Map? Fuck that. I can do this."
- Amelia Earhart (July 1937)

"Dammit! Stop grinning like a fucking moron! I'm trying to paint you looking all serious and shit."
- Leonardo Da Vinci (November 1503)

"I know what we can do this afternoon...let's make a movie. I've got about seven bucks, some twine, and a hubcap. That ought to be enough for props. Let me get my skirt and we'll start."
- Ed Wood (July 1956)

"But I have a fucking coupon! Seriously, you do not want to make me angry. Just give me the damn discount."
- Bruce Banner [at Wal-Mart] (August 2004)