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Friday, February 10, 2006

More Little Known Quotes

We here at Big Damn Funny thought we should share some more little known quotes throughout history.

Incidentally, everything that follows is complete bullshit.

"Butter face? I don't get it."
- Abraham Lincoln (February 1863)

"I think I'll go ahead and get the breast reduction. It couldn't possibly harm my career."
- Jennifer Love Hewitt (2002)

"Fuck me! It's witch-tit cold out here!"
- George Washington [whilst crossing the Delaware] (December 1776)

"Does anyone have some Frank's Red Hot? This stuff is pretty bland."
- Unknown member of the Donner Party (April 1847)

"Jesus Christ! Is that a zombie?"
- Stuart Petermore [upon seeing Joan Rivers in person] (March 2003)

"Gay? Why in the world would you think I was gay? I'm all about the goon. What? Poon? Not goon? Yeah...I knew that. 'Cause I'm all about it."
- Liberace (June 1964)

"3 million? That's some pussy Hitler shit. I've killed way more than that. Hell, I've done more in an afternoon!"
- Joseph Stalin (April 1952)

"Check it. I'm gonna make a regular dude...but, like, really tiny."
- God [spoken to Michael] upon the creation of the midget

"What more does that bitch want me to cut off?"
- Vincent Van Gogh (December 1888)

"Map? Fuck that. I can do this."
- Amelia Earhart (July 1937)

"Dammit! Stop grinning like a fucking moron! I'm trying to paint you looking all serious and shit."
- Leonardo Da Vinci (November 1503)

"I know what we can do this afternoon...let's make a movie. I've got about seven bucks, some twine, and a hubcap. That ought to be enough for props. Let me get my skirt and we'll start."
- Ed Wood (July 1956)

"But I have a fucking coupon! Seriously, you do not want to make me angry. Just give me the damn discount."
- Bruce Banner [at Wal-Mart] (August 2004)

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