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Tuesday, January 3, 2006

15 Signs Your Relationship Is Ending

1. Her cell phone messages have another guy laughing in the background.

2. When you snuggle up to her and say something sexy...she punches you and tells you to go fuck yourself.

3. She just got a new vibrator....specially molded from your brother's penis.

4. She starts introducing you to others as "the dumbass who won't leave me alone".

5. She has had "a headache" for three months now.

6. When you make a joke she rolls her eyes. When Jorge from the office makes the same joke she giggles and performs oral sex on him.

7. She moved out.

8. Three times in the past week you came home early to find the backdoor wide open and your girlfriend had her shirt on backwards.

9. Twice this week you came home early to find your girlfriend blowing another guy.

10. When you buy her lingerie she purrs "Jorge is gonna love this".

11. You keep getting forwarded emails with dirty pictures of your girlfriend that you don't remember photographing.

12. More than once, she has accidentally said to a male co-worker "Suck you la...I mean talk to you later." Followed by a series of winks and nudges.

13. She stopped talking in code two weeks ago and now just says "I'm going out to fuck a guy. See ya."

14. You answering machine now has her saying "You have reached me and fuckwit-who-hasn't-got-a-clue. Leave a message".

15. When she drinks too much she looks at you and moans "what the fuck did I ever see in you?"

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