Once a year, I glance at my calender and see "Canada Day" printed very tiny on...well, I don't remember what specific day.
The point is...I didn't even know what the hell Canada Day is.
So I looked it up.
Apparently it is a day to celebrate Canada. How lame. We don't have "America Day". We do have Independence Day, but that is commemorating a vigorous ass-beating. Always cause for celebration.
Canada was formed by an agreement. An agreement! How....pussy.
I decided to go to the source...the website of the Canadian Government.
They have a little webform for comments/questions. I asked the following:
I am an American so I don't really know this stuff. But what is Canada Day? It keeps showing up on my calender.
When and how did Canada become "Canada"?
Thanks for your time.
My favorite part is after you enter your comments/questions and the form says "Our service standard is to respond within one Canadian business day." Is a Canadian Business day longer or shorter than say...anyone else's business day?
I don't know how long a Canadian business day is, but I do know that no one ever wrote me back.
Well, I did receive an email, but it appears to be a basic form-mail reply.
Information on the history of Canada Day is accessible from the "Citizenship and Identity" section of the Canadian Heritage Web site at the following URL:
Information on Canadian history is accessible from the "Towards Confederation" section of Library and Archives Canada's Canadian Confederation Web site at the following URL:
Links to information on Canadian history are accessible from the "About Canada" section of the Canada Site at the following URL:
We hope this information is helpful to you.
Now while it was pretty cool to get an email from an actual government (one that wasn't threatening me with serious jail time), it still didn't give me a whole lot of new information.
I did, however, learn that Canada Day happens on July 1st.
I was hoping for something a wee bit more personal and informative, but I guess I'm going to go ahead and declare that Canada Day doesn't suck as much ass as I initially thought.
I am, however, still pissed about Celine Dion. And Anne Murray. And Sarah McLachlan. Very angry about Barenaked Ladies.
I don't mind so much about Pamela Anderson, though. We will go ahead and keep her.
Canada Day - (Tentative) Rating: C-