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Thursday, December 15, 2005

More Little Known Facts

An addendum to the earlier list of Little Known Facts.

It's a little known fact that my penis is 44 inches long. Unfortunately, 3 feet of that can only be seen or felt in the 14th dimension.

It's a little known fact the city of houston was first named "archieville" but after many complaints that the name didnt fit on mugs or magnets it was changed.

It's a little known fact all 182 workers who died while making the brooklyn bridge were named Mike.

It's a little known fact on the 3rd christmas ever 3 girls froze to death waiting for santa on their roof and a bystander simply remarked "thats science"

It's a little known fact that the reason Rudolph's nose lit up so bright to guide the sleigh at night was a quite virulent strain of syphilis. He died shortly thereafter.

It's a little known fact on the 10th day of each month the vice president eats a still beating human heart to gain their warrior spirit.

It's a little known fact the day before Archduke Franz Ferdinand was killed he scored a perfect game of Pinochle.

It's a little know fact the origin of the nickname "crayfish" was first used after Lincoln's death in which the doctor yelled "cray of fish" at the bloody mess.

It's a little known fact the last words of Vladimir Ilyich Lenin were "you gonna eat that?".

It's a little known fact that Daffy Duck's original name was Douglas The Goofy Bastard but test audiences found the name offensive.

Its a little known fact that the song Purple People Eater is based upon a true story.

It's a little known fact that when the paper shredder first debuted at the World's Fair, many papers got up and left the room quite upset.

It's a little known fact that beer bellies are effective protection against the undead, because if a flesh-eating zombie shows up at your party, why not let him eat that extra twenty pounds? Its win-win, baby.

It's a little known fact that the world's first mobster was really quite bored until other mobsters showed up for him to whack.

It's a little known fact that all midgets are actually time travelers who come from a distant future where ceilings are very low.

It's a little known fact that the oldest known woman, after convicted of high treason, could not be convicted by a jury of her peers because of her extreme age, so several monkeys and a couple of local cows presided over her trial. She was then promptly hanged after being found mooooooooooo on all charges.

It's a little known fact that before each episode of the Price is Right, Bob Barker warms up by saying, "Now bring on the bomb ass punani!"

It's a little known fact that in the Farmer's Almanac of 1972, that the weather for May 20th called for rain, clouds, and a chance of global thermonuclear war.

It's a little known fact that the arch-nemesis of the Polar Bear is the Equatorial Bear.

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