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Monday, December 12, 2005

15 Really Bad Pick-Up Lines

1. Do you want to fuck or should I apologize?

2. Wanna see my penis?

3. Are you a hooker? Because I would totally pay to fuck you.

4. Let's have some sex. Or maybe just cuddle. Do you want to cuddle?

5. Sometimes I think that the high priest Gifantor from the planet Glaxor 5 can read my thoughts. If so, right now he is seeing me picturing doing naughty things to you.

6. I don't really want to go home and masturbate tonight. How about a pity fuck?

7. You look exactly like my ex-girlfriend. I never really got over her. Wanna make out?

8. I got a book on the Kama Sutra. Wanna try out some moves? If not, I have playstation...maybe we could play some Grand Theft Auto. And then have sex. Or just play Grand Theft Auto. Naked. Or maybe fully clothed. Your choice. I'm easy.

9. You're kinda pretty. Wanna make some amateur porn?

10. Have you ever wondered if maybe there is no real point or purpose to life? That maybe we are just some highly sentient monkeys floating around in the ether. That's kind of depressing. Let's have sex.

11. Are those real? Can I see them?

12. If you want to come back to my place I have, like, a shitload of porn.

13. Let's go back to my place. I'll bet I can make you orgasm in three minutes. If not, I'll already be asleep so you can go ahead and slip out to make fun of me to all your friends. Try not to wake me, OK?

14. Are those space pants? Because your ass is out of this world...no seriously. I really want to have sex with you.

15. If you do me, I promise I won't brag. Nobody ever has to know. Except Teddy. He sleeps in the bed with me. I'll make him look away, though. What do you say?

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