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Tuesday, November 8, 2005

How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria

1. Feed her. Maybe she's hungry.

2. Buy her something shiny and expensive. It might distract her.

3. Take her to a movie.

4. Kill the bitch.

5. Boot camp.

6. Family Counsiling.

7. Chop up her credit cards.

8. Lock the bitch up in a nunnery.

9. Take away her car keys.

10. Put her on medication to stop all that singing and spinning on mountaintops.

11. Plastic Surgery.

12. Give her an imaginary friend to buy yourself some peace and quiet.

13. Make her take piano lessons.

14. Threaten her.

15. Lock her up in a medium sized metal box and stash it under the staircase.

For those of you who didn't get the reference, it is a song from The Sound of Music...which is on television every year. Get with it, man.

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