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Friday, September 2, 2005

Big Damn Poetry

For your cultural edification, we offer these tasteful pieces of poesy.

Morning Wood
Sometimes I drink coffee.
Sometimes I drink tea.
It makes no difference what I drink
I always have to pee.

First thing in the morning,
my wood is in full flower.
Eventually, I just give up,
and aim it toward the shower.

Smokey the Bear
Why do you have that name?
For if you put out fires
Shouldn't your name be....water?

If My Ass Was A Flower
If my ass was a flower
the sun would make it bloom.
I'd look upon it fondly
I'd brighten up the room.

My ass would be quite lovely.
The world would come a-calling.
I'd have to watch for bees
who'd fly up my ass for pollen.

If my ass was a flower
I'd fart sweet potpourri.
Clothing would be pointless.
Pants? Hey, none for me.

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