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Monday, July 11, 2005

15 Signs That You Aren't Famous

1. When you sign autographs it is only because you are paying with a check.

2. No one cares where you went on vacation.

3. You still have to pay for whores.

4. There are no press conferences when your girlfriend dumps you.

5. When you stand next to a celebrity, people assume you are the retarded cousin.

6. You are less concerned with the paparazzi and more concerned with finding your left shoe.

7. You still cannot get laid.

8. Nobody wants to post nude photos of you on the internet.

9. When you announce that you plan to change your name to an unpronounceable symbol, everyone just calls you "dumbass" instead.

10. The only interviews you have ever given were right after turning in an application.

11. Nobody is kissing your ass.

12. When you enter rehab...no one cares.

13. Your coworkers cannot remember your name.

14. Your attempts at getting a sandwich named after you at the local diner resulted in a tuna on rye called "the dumbass".

15. Your mom keeps calling to remind you that you aren't famous and you left your fabric softener at her house again.

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